Conversations With Myself
After they found the perfect place for their engagement, they began to tear at each others minds like two dogs on a rare steak. Question after question flew from each others lips, striking each others ears with ease. They counter attacked each other with answers, more questions, laughter, and similarities which would cause astonishment because of the tiny bits of information they learned.
The room around them was alive and full of ecstatic persons, also having conversations about their days and the weather. The waiter then came upon the couple, stopping their conversation. They turned their full attention to the man who was waiting; pen and paper in hand. They both ordered cocktails, the women got the chicken sandwich and the gentleman ordered the snails and a salad; it was a scene strait out of a Salinger novel. The waiter scribbled down their orders and gave them thanks.
As soon as the waiter walked away, their conversation sparked right back up; as if it had never been stopped. I sat and pondered the actions that had just taken place in front of me. Meaningless conversation was passing before my eyes, and gossip was filling my ears. The air was full of , “he said , she said,” and it was filling my lungs. I could taste the moist flavor of conversation on the tip of my tough. i opened my mouth so that I also could be involved in meaningless conversation; to explore it as a pastime would be grand. I had been without real conversation with a real person, I mean an actual person, that has something to bring to the table. But as i began to speak, to let out my rhythmic patterns of conversation upon someones listening ears, i realized that i was all alone. It had been that way for quite a long time. I began to think about what people would say if i began to speak to the empty chair in front of me. The table beside me, which was full of elderly women, would turn to me and ask, “Who are you talking to?” The thought of this echoed in my head, her words began to repeat in my mind, “Who are you talking to?... Talking to? Talking To?”
Other questions would come from the child that sat in the both in front of me. He would turn around and say, “Daddy, is that guy crazy? I think he is crazy.” His laughter traveled to my head and melted together with the words. They now all echoed in my head, “ Is he crazy? Talking to? Hahaha! Crazy? Talking? Crazy? HAHAHA!” their voices began to grow louder and louder. Then I began to scream out noises that i myself never made before. The restaurant, now not thought but a truth, became an uproar that spread like a flash flood. Then the voices grew louder and louder. I could feel them pressing against my brain, the pressure caused excruciating pain to flow through my head. Then the voices in my head and all around me came to a sudden halt; my voice still echoing in the back of my mind. Then the language i spoke began to become louder and more violent, the people around me began to run. I opened and looked around the room. More faces were turned and looking at me, some faces coming from the kitchen and booths from across the restaurant. Their jaws were still moving up and down, in patterns that I later realized where words such as, “Stop!” and, “Call 911!”. Then all of the eyes of the people around me became black and their faces began to melt of their skulls. I felt that the whole place was melting down around me. The voices then came to me again, and started to spiral in my head. A loud roar then came rushing from my moist, escaping into the air. My head reared up towards the sky, the breath in my lungs began to rush out at a rapid pace. The floor began to bubble around my shoes and began to melt all around me. What was left was what seamed to be the floor of a mighty jungle; covered in roots dirt, leaves, small bushes, and trees. Then the world around me began to spin and i fell to the ground. My head hit what i thought was a rock but turned out to be the table at which i was sitting at. People rushed to my aid, but sleep had fallen upon my eyes.
“Oh Jeffery,” I thought, “What have you got yourself into this time?”
My mind began to drift off into a place it had never gone before, and i began to hear the faint sounds of a river. For I am normal man, I am the soldier of fortune. And as I sit here, at the mouth of the river, I think of how it flows. It leads ten feet North under the dirt road that lays beside me. Some would call it a beginning, I see it as an end. I have traveled through the fields, trees, and rocks that lay across the faces of the mountain that lays behind me. The river is quick, i can feel rush of the water flow through my fingers; it takes the blood off of my hand. It is a crisp cold and it sends cold shivers up my arm making the hairs stand.
At my age of 40 years, climbing up and through a mountain is a tough task. Sudden waves of astigmatic behavior would fill my lungs, leaving without a breath. The altitude was crushing my lungs into dust, and the gravity pulled me towards the ground. Because of these problems, i had to stop often, which cost me much needed time. I had estimated a 2 day journey into the heart of the forest that plagued the land around me. After the first leg of the trip, a solid six hour hike, took allot out of me, so i rested for a brisk lunch.
As I crossed through the trees, I came across a remarkable stone structure, the stood in front of me with the height of a small church. It was shaped like a cone with three sides. It Laid about three-hundred feet wide withe an abrupt climb up. It’s height was about five-hundred feet above the ground; it toward over my 5’ 10” structure. The three faces of the rock had been individually carved into portraits of what seamed to be three gods; one of day, one of night, and one to stand between the two. The day god stood with it’s his hands up stretched above him. In his hands he held a great ball of fire the emanated light to everything around it. As i made my way down the face of the rock, the waist of the higher being turned into the land that grew and re-energized around him do to the magnificent light he held. The trees around him seamed to grow and move in the slight breeze that surrounded me; i could feel the heat from the holy sun upon my face.
As i passed around the structure, I began to gaze upon the goddess of the night. She had her arms stretched to the sides of her with her palms towards the sky. In her hands she held the sky that littered the starry night. Behind the clouds appeared a gigantic full moon that glowed off the face of the rock. As the the side before this one, the waisted turned into another form of the earth; the ocean. The waves crashed below her chest as it rose and fell, causing the tides to shift and turn below her.
I passed around to the the third side slower than i did the rest. As my gaze began to cross the face of the stone, chills began to plague my body from heal to head. The smooth sides of the face, as it came inward towards the centerpiece, became rugged and jagged. In the middle of the stone stood a single man, with gashes that scarred his entire body. His hands were outstretched towards the two gods that lay on either side of him. Chains came from the base of each god that strapped around the wrists of the worn mortal. It seamed as if even though the gods where holding the world together, they where pulling apart the man that once loved their pressies earth.
Tears began to fill my eyes as my stair became blurry. I felt as if i should have not seen the visions that had just been placed in front of me. I squatted for a quick moment of time, to regain of strength and composure. Then with a running start leaped up and ran towards the face of the mass. I leaped upon its side and grasped upon the ledge that was place with in it. I pulled my self to the plate that lay above me. The ledge was dulcet, and could barley hold my wait, but i was able to mange to turn my self around and pull my self up ledge after ledge. I came upon a ruff terrain that lay a third of the way up. I lost my footing and began to slide down. My foot manged to ketch a ledge that lay below me, and halted my falling body to a brisk stop. I was then able to pull my head around to look over my shoulder, to see how far i had fallen. The sight that then came into my vision bewildered me into a stunned state of mind. I saw clear as day the morning view that lay in front of me. It was breath taking and maid my heart race, but i new it would be even more beautiful upon the final peak.
It was all the inspiration i need to push myself back up and continue the path that laid ahead of me. I climbed until I reached a edge built into the side of the natural structure; a place to rest. the summit was still a good half mile above me, but where i was was still a great accomplishment. As I turned my sweat drenched head and looked away from the summit, my neck began to crack with anticipation as i saw one of the greatest views that my eyes have ever seen before. The mountains lay across my view with colors ranching from green to brown to white, causing my eyes to smile. These mountains were layered hundreds of miles into the distance, and the way they look reminded me of a see of faces; old and grotesque from age but still lifelike and beautiful at the same time. They had trails and roads carved into their faces; all roads led to the top of there mountain. It was a magnificent sight that left me breathless. But with this ecstasy comes victory, for i examined my location and justified that i had made my second leg. I was behind schedule, but the journey so far had left me satisfied, plus the night was coming fast. I decided to set up camp and call it a night, for if i wondered into the darkness i know i could be met by things no human wants to encounter. I mayed a fire pit and lit it; the crackling of the sticks mayed me feel more secure. I felt i was able to now let my guard down at least enough to get some sleep.
With the feeling of security, i decided to set up camp and make supper. I had brought my own food, for this wasn't a hunting trip. I had brought my double action rifle for the soul reason of safety. I hoped i would never have to use it, but it was essential for a trip like this. After the beans had cooked and the meat roasted in the tinfoil i had wrapped it in, i gobbled them down like a death row inmates last meal.Then with ease and a full stomach, i layed my gun and head beside each other and said my prayers, for who new what could come out of the darkness while my eyes lay shut and the fire crackled lightly at the foot of my resting place.
The darkness holds strange things embodied in kindness and awareness. It brings you into false security and then when you have your guard down it strikes with a vengeance. As i tossed and turned in the cold night I, with intention on doing so, wrestled the ground enough to draw attention from creatures of the night. As the two beast approach, they were unnoticed by everything besides the small animals that had wondered into my camp. They approached with caution and curiosity, but with all thee intention to attack. If it wasn’t for the twig that they stepped upon that cracked in my ear and turned my brain back to life. As i awoke my first instinct was to grab my gun, but for some reason i couldn't move. I layed upon my back, with my arms at my side; like an elderly man strapped upon a nursing home bed. But as this thought churned in my head, i realized i was nothing but that. ?The straps that held me down paralyzed any movement. The walls where a pail white, the color of the white house to be exact. The two beast slowly wondered closer, their claws at their sides, ready to pounce. My eyes lay wide open in terror as the crept to the the sides of my bed. One grabbed my forehead and jaw so that i could not flail about; it’s grotesque claws more like fleshy hands. He pulled downward on my jaw, leaving my mouth agape as they other took a tube and shoved it down my throughout. The rough sides of the tube scratched at my thought and made me gag. My hands clenched into fist and the blood raced to my head and began to spin. Then like a rocket from a launch pad, a slimy wet substance was pushed down the tube and into the inner parts of my stomach, filling it like a canting. Then they proceeded in pulling it out, leaving spit and and acid to run from my mouth. The two men then stepped back and looked upon the victim they just helped. My eyes began two water and run for the thought had finally hit me. I was not Edger living these adventures, I was just a crazed young man; crazed in a house of crazies.
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